Happy Birthday, Charlotte

Did you know that Charlotte was actually scheduled to be out on the 29th of April, 2015?

I remember that day very well. I woke up, feeling anticipated and nervous yet excited at the same time. I fasted as told by the doctor. I didn't eat anything cause he said Do not eat anything for at least 8 hours.

But he didn't say Don't drink anything. So I drank a glass of milo ais while accompanying the husband as he had his breakfast. And the rest is history. You can read it here.

It's been a year! We've been parents for one freaking year! I can't really say that we did a really good job but still, we're gonna pat our own shoulders for surviving lol.

I remember everything vividly.

This day last year, I woke up, made sure I din't eat or DRINK anything before checking into the hospital. I remember telling myself Yay! First hospital stay for a really happy reason! wtf lol. I remember changing into the hospital gown and feeling so naked cause my butt was exposed hahaha. I remember taking pictures and just living that  moment. And I'm glad I did cause the memory is still so fresh!

Then I also remember waiting outside the operation theater and started to cry. Honestly I was not sure why. I just kept sobbing. The anesthetist offered me a dose of vitamin B complex to calm me down. I also remember the feeling when they injected me with epidural and how the anesthetist test my numbness by rubbing ice on my lower body.

I remember the sound of my gynae telling the nurses what to do and telling me what's going on. I remember I felt nothing but I know my body was being moved about. I remember my husband said how much blood and water there was but I just couldn't feel anything.

Then I heard a loud cry. The husband said the doctor didn't even need to wack the buttocks to initiate that cry lol.

And then she was brought to me as the nurses was cleaning me up. They showed me her pat pat to ensure me that it's a girl hahaha.

I remember the first faces I saw once I was out of the OT. I saw my dad, my stepmom and my husband. My dad kissed me and I felt so happy.

I waited in a temporary ward cause my bed was not ready. Within an hour, the nurse brought my baby to me. I remember trying to sit up cause I wanted to feed her but the wound was so so so so so so SO hurtful. But I still push myself cause they said it's crucial to have skin to skin contact and latch as soon as possible. I remember not knowing what to do but just shoot my breast into her mouth. I remember it was an overwhelming feeling. And when she's done, I remember how amazed I was to see that my nipples can be stretched and reshaped lol.

I remember just staring at her. And felt so proud of myself, thinking I just gave birth to a human being!

What seemed to be a rocking start, like every other new parent, we've finally made it through the first year. And as everyone told me, all this shall pass. No matter how difficult the situation, no matter how long some days seem to be, there's always a new beginning. It's called Tomorrow.

Yesterday, I did not post anything on social media. I spent lesser time on my phone. Cause all I wanted to do was to spend a good day with Charlotte before she officially turns ONE. It was an amazing day. There were moments she looked me into my eyes and smile. Widely and genuinely. It's like she's telling me Good job, mommy. We've made it! And I feel like, whatever's broken can be mend. Everything's gonna be ok. Everything's gonna be better.




I will continue to plant kisses on your chubby cheeks every single days no matter how you try to struggle or push  me away fml. I hope that you're not afraid to fall and you will continue to laugh as your heart desires. I hope you stay curious and be bold in exploring the wonders around you. I hope you have courage and be kind. I wish nothing but the best for you.

Happy Birthday, my baby.

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Confessions of a mom

Before my husband and I got married, I told him that one of my goals, if I ever mother a child, is to be a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) for at least 3 years. I want to be able to take care of my child wholeheartedly. I wanna give what I couldn't have enough when I was little- companionship.

Does this says enough how much I was ready to become a mom?

Unfortunately, you don't plan life ahead. Life is tough and I have the responsibility to bring some bacon home. Even though I'm not a SAHM, I'm glad that I'm still able to bring my daughter wherever I go, even when I'm working.

That being said, I'm still not the perfect mother. There're days I feel unmotivated or simply lazy. Below are my confession as a mom.

1. I don't clean her toys diligently.
I remember during her newborn days, I'd wash and sterilize EVERYTHING. When she first discovered that her fingers are yummy, I wipe her hands almost every time after she takes out from her mouth. One fine day, I remember something about bacteria in our stomach. That there're good bacteria and bad bacteria. And that we need an amount of bad bacteria to allow the good bacteria to have a chance to fight and toughen up hahaha. So when she starts to play around with her toys (read: put EVERYTHING into her mouth), I let her be. I might only clean them once a week. Or fortweekly. I mean, she even swallowed water from the swimming pool before and she's still fine. So, why panick? 🙈🙈🙈

2. I'm constantly on my phone.
Yes, I'm guilty of that. Now that she's able to play on her own, I get to spend more time on the phone. To be honest, 65% of the time I spent on my phone is because of work. I have the privilege to be able to work on a mobile device. I do feel bad sometimes, especially when I'm done on my phone and look up to see that she has already crawled towards me waiting for my attention. I do make an effort to spend time reading and singing to her everyday. Or take a walk around the swimming pool area if we're home early and if the weather is fine. I'm trying my best.

3. I only choose the best photos to be posted on social media.
I mean, c'mon, who doesn't do that? But to be fair, Charlotte does has her down time. Here's the proof.

4. I secretly compare Charlotte to other kids.
I try not to do it too often cause it's unhealthy but I secretly feel happy when Charlotte reach a certain milestone earlier than other kids around her age. For example, growing teeth, gain weight, or even standing up on her own! I cheer a little lot lol.

5. I wipe when I think about her leaving me for another man wtf.
I know. It's a long way to go. I'm a drama mama.

6. I use Charlotte as an excuse to leave early.
Oh I'm sorry I have to leave now. She's getting agitated. It's her bed time soon (o"o) Super good unoffensive excuse huh?


So there you go. My Mom Confessions.

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11 facts about me

Hello! If you're reading this, let me take a moment to say thankQ for stopping by and

Welcome!

The reason I started this blog is because I wanna pen down crazy fun things I do as a new mom. I know there are other ways like writing a diary or putting them on social media. But let's just say that, I find it easier typing than print cut and paste pictures onto a book lol. And blogging allows me to edit numerous times whereas keeping a diary might result in damaging the environment cause I might get fed up with the photo arrangements in my diary and then tear the page and waste more paper and glue and ink and the list goes on (read: excuse for being lazy).

Anyway! For  you to know me a lil better, here are 11 facts about me :)

1. Dolphin is not my last name.
Obviously lol! Why name myself dolphin? Well, simply because I love swimming and I love dolphin. One of my dreams is to swim with dolphins in the big blue sea. Dolphins are also known to be smart mammals, too. So, erm I would like to (buay paiseh-ly) associate myself as one of a kind *ahem*.

2. I'm not a new blogger. 

I actually started blogging in 2004, as introduced by my best friend, Sereen. I blogged for 9 years and stopped for some personal reason in 2013.

But it's ok! Imma start anew!

3. My dream was to be a performer.

I love to perform. Be it singing, acting or dancing. I started  practicing my signature when I was still in primary school, thinking I might one day be someone famous and have people coming up to me asking me for autograph. I'm not kidding. Don't laugh.

4. I've been tutoring for 10 years.

Yes. 10 whole freaking years! Teaching is my forte, though it's something I never thought I would be doing in the long run. I've always thought of doing something else throughout the 10 years but always feel too comfortable to leave the education line. Now I've make peace with it and have found joy and great accomplishment in teaching.

5. I'm a fierce breastfeeding mom and a baby-wearer.

Of course I get questioned many times. Later your baby won't want anybody but you. Later she'll be so sticky to you it'll be hard for you to have your own time to do your own thing. Bla bla bla yada yada yada. Do your homework before you come questioning me about my parenting method. Or else don't freak out if I give you one big slap.

6. I love languages.

I was raised speaking Mandarin, Cantonese, English and BM. I think that gives me the advantage of understanding a new language easily. I personally went on to study Korean and Japanese. The next language I would love to learn is sign language. 

7. I'm an ultimate egg lover!

I MUST have satu biji telur in my nasi lemak. I love anything that says egg! Egg tart, steamed egg, egg tofu, salted egg, fried egg, baked egg... I can survive on eggs alone. 

8. I enjoy motherhood ❤
Even if it means that you can't go for peaceful one minute toilet break or have to swallow most of your food without chewing, resulting in constipation wtf. But it's been fun! To see how your own baby grow and hit those little milestones. To see how a helpless little baby who can't turn over can now climb moutains and cross rivers just to climb to you. It's a glorious feeling!

9. I love to eat.

As much as I don't like to admit being overweight, I can't help not love eating! Being able to enjoy food is one of the blessings in life. So screw whatever diet plan there is. Oh wait! I do have a diet plan. That's to make more cupcakes for people around me wakakakaka.

10. I love to travel.

I mean seriously, if health, wealth and time is not an issue, who doesn't?

11. I love to celebrate birthdays!

I don't know about you but I feel extra special on my birthday. I love to receive gifts *ahem ahem*, I like to eat cakes, I like to get together with my favourite people and feel loved hahaha. We can practice that on any other given days, but on your own birthday, it's just different. So I'll also try my very best to make others feel more special on their birthdays. It's a happy feeling to celebrate birthdays :)

So there you go! Hope you enjoy reading and get to know me better.

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