My Girls' Trip to Bangkok with One Child - Part 1

I have to be honest, I've been longing for the day to be free from breastfeeding and go on a vacation without the kids. I mean, I've been breastfeeding for 42 months and counting. I know there are people who've been breastfed for 10 years cause erm they have 4 kids (or more!) but I'm pretty sure I'm good with just 2. For good.

To be fair, I breastfed Charlotte for almost 3 years, and I don't think Emmett is ready to wean off yet. So since breastfeeding is not ending anytime soon, I don't mind going on a vacation and still breastfeeding lol wth am I talking about.

Anyway, it was in March this year when I went to Redang for Peggy's surprise proposal, a mutual friend, Joanne, told me about their trip to Bangkok in November. I buay paiseh-ly asked if I could tag along. I'm pretty sure my face looked like this.

Of course they said yes hahaha.

Initially I wanted to bring both kids along cause mom guilt wtf. To cut the long story short, in the end it was just me and Emmett against all the farking delayed flights. 

We ALMOST couldn't make it for the trip because Emmett's flu was back and he has a difficult time breathing and sleeping the night before. I rush him to the doctor first thing in the morning and boy I was furious. Trust me when I say that I was in so much anger thinking that we might not be able to make it cause I SO need my time away to re-charge.Thankfully after a round of neb, he was breathing much better. Doctor also gave us the green light to go and reminded me to pack all the medication just in case. 

Emmett and I while waiting at the airport.

And so we made it! The flight delayed for 2 hours plus due to the bad weather and Emmett just just kept crying and whining and vomiting 70% of the time because he was still not feeling well but WE SURVIVED! We reached Don Meung airport around 11pm (supposedly 8pm local time). 

After we reached our Airbnb, I quickly got both of us wash down and ready for bed. Emmett slept through the night and I got to rest well, too.

Stay tuned for Part 2. 

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A Letter to My Dearest Charlotte

My dearest daughter,

I've been trying to write this letter for the longest time but every time I sit in front of the laptop trying to put my thoughts down in words, I will be overcome by emotions, follow by teary eyes.

But you turn 3 years old today. I see you growing up before my very eyes and I have decided that I need to just do my best to let you know how full of love and respect for you I am.

So let me tell you a little bit about you. You love play and adventure like any other young kid. You would swirl around with that big smile on your face when I bring you to a playground. You would also repeat tirelessly, everyday, throughout the week, that you want to wear your Minnie Mouse swimsuit and go for a swim.

You love reading. I gave you a new set of books last week cause you've memorised all the other books that we've read together everyday for a couple of months. You're so happy that now we're reading the same 4 books daily before bedtime. You even want me to repeat them at least a few more times before we turn off the lights and hit the sack. Even though you can't read on your own yet, you could memorize and read along with me.

You have a really good memory. Besides memorizing the story books, you could also remember things that were taught in school. You would come home everyday singing to the songs the teacher taught you. You could also name the colours and numbers in English, Mandarin and Bahasa Malaysia. Oh, and you could even count to 40 now. Sometimes, you could even remember things that happened once at a certain place a few weeks ago. When we happen to drive pass that same place, you could point out what we did and who we saw there. And it frightens your dad a lot, simply because he can't even remember what I said just 5 minutes ago.

You love your little brother a lot. When he cries, you would go up to him and pat his head, chanting "It's ok. It's ok". When you're going to take a shower, you would tell him, "Wait for jie jie ok? Jie jie shower first." before taking your shirt off and dash into the bathroom. If I'm taking my shower and he's crying for me, you would read to him your favourite book, cause you know that he'll be ok just to have you around.

You love to sing. You could even come up with your own song with your own lyrics. It's funny to listen most of the time. The other day, you sang "One, little two, little three, little baby Emmett..." and I just couldn't stop laughing looking at you singing with accompanied actions. It's just too cute!

You have your own happy dance, too! When you get to drink your favourite packet milk or go to the playground, you would hold your fists up to your chest, twist your body and do a little hop. It makes me feel happy for you, too.

You also drive me up the wall sometimes but there is never a day that you don’t make me smile. You are clever, so so clever. You just want to know everything and that is so much more important to me right now. I love your thirst for knowledge.

You see, in many ways, you reminded me of myself. You look like me when I was little, you have good memory just like me (thank God!), you love singing just like me. Basically, you're like my mini me!

But also, in many ways, you're better than me. You love generously, you forgive easily and you're just a genuinely kind and wonderful soul. And I can't express enough just how proud I am of you.

So on this day, as we celebrate your 3rd birthday, I might not have the perfect gift for you, but I want you to have whatever you want. I want you to be happy. I want you to find someone that you love and love them completely. I want you to find a passion and follow it completely. I want you to work hard at whatever educational and career path you choose, although whatever you choose is fine with me. I want you to do what you love, and live a fulfilling life. Never let anyone tell you what to do, listen to advice but always make your own choices. If you can learn one thing from me I hope it’s that, do whatever you choose to do and don’t let anyone hold you back, whoever they are. Even if that person is me. Most of all I want you to be content. Find the simplest joy in the smallest thing. If you are kind, loyal, ambitious, determined, honest, faithful, loving, accepting and humble, then good things will come to you. Lastly, be brave and take risks. Take chances and be daring, life’s too short not to.

Happie Birthday my sweet sweet darling.


Love,
Mummy

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Pros and Cons - Day Care vs. Nanny

Charlotte started attending day care when she was 19 months old. She had positive progress throughout her one year attendance and I thought that day care was for me (and my kids).

But when I didn't enroll Emmett into a day care centre when I was about to start work simply because the day care centers in Puchong are much more expensive compared to the one I sent Charlotte to in Cyberjaya. I was extremely reluctant to send him to a nanny simply because I had many bad experience while visiting and interviewing a few nannies before. 

Thank God I managed to find one that charges within my budget and Emmett had been in good hands so far.

So I would like to share my personal view on this matter.

Nanny Pros:

1. More Parental Control: With a nanny, I get to have a say on what to let my child eats or what his schedule should be like. Emmett's nanny also records his daily activity on a daily log that I provided so I get to know what's going on throughout his stay at the nanny. Sometimes the nanny would also send me pictures of him.
2. Individual Attention: Emmett's nanny is currently only taking care of him. She has 3 school-going-grandchildren but that doesn't affect her at all. In fact, the kids are very helpful and love to play with Emmett. She would also update me on Emmett's development which I'm really grateful for. 
3. Attachment: The nanny is now Emmett's primary attachment figure. He can rely on her for secure and comfort.
4. Flexibility: I can send Emmett to the nanny anytime of the day because I know that she will be home. She is also fine with me if I need to send him early or pick him up slightly later. She sometimes even asks me to send him during school holidays or public holiday without extra charge. 
5. Consistent Care: Unlike turnover at a day care center, the nanny is always there to care for Emmett, which is important for Emmett's emotional development.

Day Care Pros:

1. Helps Build Social Skills: Baby gets to develop critical skills by interacting with others, both adults and children.
2. Variety of Resources: Most day care centers offer a wide variety of toys, books, games and play equipment. They might also provide opportunities for creative play with art supplies, educational games, dress-up outfits and building blocks. These are usually included in your monthly fee so you don't have to pay extras.
3. Multiple Teachers: Children will be supervised by a group of teachers and form relationships with more than one individual.
4. Cost: The price of daycare tends to be more affordable than a nanny since you are sharing the cost with other families. The price varies based on location and type of facility. Charlotte's day care in Cyberjaya cost RM700 per month while the day care centers I've surveyed in Puchong cost at least RM1200 per month.

Nanny Cons:

1. Parenting Style Conflict: I interviewed many nannies before I found the right one. The reason I turned down most of them was because of parenting style conflict. I have some specific and reasonable requirements which I wish the nanny would follow such as not using the walker and less screen time but sadly not all are on the same page as me. Some even questioned me back, "Huh!? No walker!? Cannot one! Later start walking slower than the others, how?". I explained my reasons and concerns but not all are open minded. This current nanny's who's taking care of Emmett is not the case, thank God! She respect my parenting style and tries to follow as much as she could. 
2. No Sick Time Coverage: Unless you can get others to help or find a back up plan, if the nanny is sick or needs to leave town, you will need to take leave from work as well.
3. Cost: Nanny costs vary depending on location, the number of kids, and other factors. And generally, Chinese nannies charge more! I am not being racist here but I really think that some Chinese nannies are just too calculative. Some even told me that they will charge me extra if I pick up 10 minutes later. I understand that work is work and extra time should be paid for. But being too calculative just sets me off. Again, I am very very very lucky to have found one who is not calculative and charges me at an affordable price.

Day Care Cons:

1. More Germs and Illness: Charlotte had Hand Foot Mouth Disease (HFMD), Influenza A and Influenza B within a year of attending day care. Well, she basically falls sick every 3 weeks. I guess it's something hard to avoid with kids sharing so many toys, wiping their noses and touching the toys again. 
2. Sick Policies: Some day care centers have strick sick policies. You have to take off from work or find other childcare arrangements when your child has an illness. Further, if your kid gets sick at daycare, you will have to come pick them up and keep them home until they are free of the illness. I had to take unpaid leave for almost 3 weeks when Charlotte was down with Influenza B as I've used up all my Annual Leave back then.
3. Inflexibility: Daycare centers run on specific hours so if you are late picking up your child, it is probable that you will be subject to an extra charge. I was charged RM10 once for being just 3 minutes late, even though I was usually one of the few parents to pick up the child early.

It's not easy finding the right child care for your kid. I thought I'm the pro day care mom but I have a different view now because I am so so so so lucky to have found the right nanny for my son. To know what suits you and your family, my advise would be to sit down and list down the things that is important to you (eg. supports breastfeeding) and be honest with the things you need and want. Also think about things that may upset or frustrate you (eg. talking in baby language, the use of baby walker, etc.). Make visits to potential child care provider and don't rush into making a decision. I've interviewed more than 10 nannies and visited more than 7 day cares before choosing the ones for my children. Remember that no decision is permanent and you can always change your situation based on your needs or your child's needs.

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Family Photo Shoot at Apic Studio

Last Saturday, my little family and I had a photo shoot at Apic Studio. I bought the package at a promotional price last year. The studio is located at Kota Damansara.

This is the reception area.

The shooting area.

The other shooting area.

The displays.

And of course, the fitting room.

The husband and the children had changed into their outfits before we left the house. So I only had to change myself as I was wearing my aunty-ish nursing wear haha. I didn't even put on any make-up cause erm I don't know how fml.

After we're all set, the photo shooting commences.

The photographer, Alex Yoong, is a very patient photographer. Shooting with Emmett was somehow easy but shooting with Charlotte, sigh! Let me show you why later. Yet, Alex and his assistant would try their best to get her attention and make her smile.

He would let her roam around and play with the props. Once she's more settle, he would start shooting and capture her natural state.

It was honestly quite difficult to shoot with kids. But I love the outcome! Let me show you some.

Gonna have this printed in 12R to hang on our wall ❤

My handsome boy ❤

My big baby ❤

After the shoot, we got to review some of the photos.

Now let me show you some NG shots lol.


Dunno what is this girl thinking lol.

Yupe, natural state alright lolol.

Why do I have these shots? Because right after the shoot, all the pictures (around 400+) were given back to me unedited 😀 But unedited also so pretty already la ❤

I can then go home and choose 20 pictures of my choice to be edited and printed in a 5R album, and 1 picture to be printed and framed in 12R size.

The current packages are as follow:

This is not a sponsored post. Just that, good things must share 😊 ok Imma start a label for that.

For more info on Apic Studio 

Address: 53-2, Jalan PJU 5/20e, Kota Damansara, 47810 Petaling Jaya ​ 

Mobile: +6010-360 1160 

Email: apicstudio.my@gmail.com 

Facebook: www.facebook.com/apicstudio.my 

Instagram: apicstudio.my ​ 

Working Hours: Weekdays 11am - 5pm 

Weekend by appointment / shooting

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Priorities

I have a strong urge to pen this down so here it goes.

I have the privilege of taking up a part-time job in a company that has my best interest at heart. So even though I am a part-timer, they also signed me up and included me in a coaching program they are having for everyone in the company. Which I am deeply grateful for.

I had a second session with the coach just a few days ago and the main subject that we talked about were my career goal and how to achieve it.

Throughout the session, it was clear to me that I have the passion and the desire to move to another level or at least try to do something that is out of my comfort zone.

What's stopping you? She asked.
What's your obstacle now?

I paused, and thought really hard about it.

I'm afraid that the new job might not allow me to finish work early so that I can pick up Charlotte when she finishes school at 4pm.
I'm afraid that I cannot find another loving and reliable nanny for Emmett.
I'm afraid that the new job might take up a lot of my time that I will not get to spend enough time with them.
I'm afraid of missing out every little milestone they achieve.

So, your kids are holding you back? She asked again.

I thought about it again and I said, they are not holding me back.
They are my motivation to thrive harder.
They are not my obstacles.
They are my priorities.

As the words came out of my mouth, it's like an epiphany to me as well.

I am slowing myself down and holding myself back because I now have different priorities- my kids!
Traveling can wait.
Career can wait.
But time with them are so limited as they're only young for such a short while.
Watching them grow and hitting every little milestone give me a sense of joy no words can ever explain. And they need me now, more than ever. If I can't be there for them now, then when?

Soon, they won't run over to plant big kisses on my lips.
They won't spend time having dinner with me.
They won't be calling "Mummy, mummy!" tirelessly.
Soon, they won't be mine, but someone's else's husband or wife.
And then, I won't be their priority anymore.

Let me tell you a little story that has me feeling guilty since it happened.

Charlotte has a habit of sleep-talking.
Few days ago, she hit me in the middle of the night. She hit me 4 times. And every time as she hit, she was crying out "No carry Emmett!". 4 times.

I turned to hug her tight. And she went back to sleep. The room was dark. But as I brush her cheeks, it felt wet. So was mine.

I am doing my very best to be there for both of them and to battle this mom-guilt constantly. But somehow I'm always at the losing end.

Realizing that now my priorities are them gives me a new perspective in life. That sometimes, some things can wait.

Cooking can wait.
House-cleaning can wait.
Laundry can wait.
Washing the dishes can wait.
Scrolling on social medias can wait.

A crying baby and a toddler that stands patiently outside of the kitchen waiting for a hug?
Don't wait. Attend to them first.

I love you both. Very very much.

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