Confessions of a mom

Before my husband and I got married, I told him that one of my goals, if I ever mother a child, is to be a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) for at least 3 years. I want to be able to take care of my child wholeheartedly. I wanna give what I couldn't have enough when I was little- companionship.

Does this says enough how much I was ready to become a mom?

Unfortunately, you don't plan life ahead. Life is tough and I have the responsibility to bring some bacon home. Even though I'm not a SAHM, I'm glad that I'm still able to bring my daughter wherever I go, even when I'm working.

That being said, I'm still not the perfect mother. There're days I feel unmotivated or simply lazy. Below are my confession as a mom.

1. I don't clean her toys diligently.
I remember during her newborn days, I'd wash and sterilize EVERYTHING. When she first discovered that her fingers are yummy, I wipe her hands almost every time after she takes out from her mouth. One fine day, I remember something about bacteria in our stomach. That there're good bacteria and bad bacteria. And that we need an amount of bad bacteria to allow the good bacteria to have a chance to fight and toughen up hahaha. So when she starts to play around with her toys (read: put EVERYTHING into her mouth), I let her be. I might only clean them once a week. Or fortweekly. I mean, she even swallowed water from the swimming pool before and she's still fine. So, why panick? 🙈🙈🙈

2. I'm constantly on my phone.
Yes, I'm guilty of that. Now that she's able to play on her own, I get to spend more time on the phone. To be honest, 65% of the time I spent on my phone is because of work. I have the privilege to be able to work on a mobile device. I do feel bad sometimes, especially when I'm done on my phone and look up to see that she has already crawled towards me waiting for my attention. I do make an effort to spend time reading and singing to her everyday. Or take a walk around the swimming pool area if we're home early and if the weather is fine. I'm trying my best.

3. I only choose the best photos to be posted on social media.
I mean, c'mon, who doesn't do that? But to be fair, Charlotte does has her down time. Here's the proof.

4. I secretly compare Charlotte to other kids.
I try not to do it too often cause it's unhealthy but I secretly feel happy when Charlotte reach a certain milestone earlier than other kids around her age. For example, growing teeth, gain weight, or even standing up on her own! I cheer a little lot lol.

5. I wipe when I think about her leaving me for another man wtf.
I know. It's a long way to go. I'm a drama mama.

6. I use Charlotte as an excuse to leave early.
Oh I'm sorry I have to leave now. She's getting agitated. It's her bed time soon (o"o) Super good unoffensive excuse huh?


So there you go. My Mom Confessions.