Potty Training - Emmett's edition

How have you been?

I'm not sure how many days it has been but it's getting easier now to stay at home. I have to admit, it was hard at first. Especially for me. Before MCO, whenever I feel tired and lazy to cook, I will just bring them to the mall to get their dinner fixed. It's expensive but I take it as buying time and energy.

The kids have been taking it really well, though. They just play the whole day. I would stop Charlotte and get her to do some work or reading but then I will need to get back to work with minimal distraction, so I resorted to TV nanny. I think they've way exceeded their screen time quota I set for them throughout their childhood. Oh well.

Emmett, on the other hand, is highly neglected. He just plays the whole day. Playing is good, right? Children need to play all the time. That's what the experts say.

Anyway, I started on potty training Emmett since day 2 of MCO. I mean, it's the right time to start since we are supposed to be home all the time.

Charlotte accompanying Emmett 🤷

I'm proud to say that he's 90% potty trained. 90% because this fella, just like his sister, DOESN'T WANT TO POO POO IN THE POTTY!

Why? How come!? どうして!? Dim gaiii!?!?

It was still considered easy for Charlotte because she wouldn't poop in her pantie. But she wouldn't sit on the toilet bowl to poop as well. She would wail and cry and tahan until I give in and put on a diaper for her. The point is, she can tahan until the diaper was on. So one day I decided to go hard on her and lock myself in the room. She gave in and pooped in the toilet. And since then she was diaper free. I blogged about it Here.

But Emmett. Oh my Emmett. He can now tell when he wants to shh shh and all but he just wouldn't let me know when he wants to poop! He successfully pooped in the toilet only because (1) he just finished showering and he hasn't put on his underwear and (2) he was only on the potty and the poop just came out with the pee.

Sorry tmi.

But other wise, he would just poop in his underwear and only inform after!

I've been drilling him all day everyday and he knows all the answers to it. The following is what's on the loop every 10 minutes.

"Emmett, do you want to poo poo?" (Usually it's a "No")
"Emmett, if you wan to poo poo, what must you do?" (Tell mummy)
"Can you poo poo in your underwear or not?" (No)

Sometimes when I'm too carried away with work, Charlotte will do the drilling.

"Emmett, if you want to poo poo you tell mummy ok? Tell jie jie also can."

And this morning, while changing him out of his pajamas, the sei sui zai went,

"Can poo poo in the underwear or not? Nooooooo~"
"Poo poo in the toilet ok? Emmett tell mummy, ok?"
"Emmett sing song and poo poo in the toilet, ok? Yaaaayyy!"

Yay your head la, yay.

But on the bright side, we're only using 1 diaper a day now, when he goes to sleep at night. Most of the time he wakes up with a dry diaper. I can always tell when he peed in the diaper cause he would refuse me to change him out of his pajamas.

Also, I'm glad I didn't give this training potty away. It was given to me by Suet Yin.

Charlotte preferred the big one. But for Emmett, I think he started to feel stressful after 4 days of potty training, on the 5th day, he started to refuse going to the toilet. So I took this out and he happily accepted it. I guess this goes to proof (again) that all children are different. It's an age old theory. What works for one might not work for another.

I look forward to the day I can happily announce that Emmett is 100% diaper free.

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Peace in the midst of a pandemic

I've lost count of the latest number of identified Covid-19 patients in Malaysia. But from the news, it seems that the confirmed ones are surrounding the place I stay and often go to. It also seems that the number will potentially multiply in the upcoming days as a few of the confirmed cases had been moving around in crowded places prior to being diagnosed. 

Naturally (and unfortunately), I panic. I bought extra canned food, dried food, detergents and toiletries when I visited the supermarket. I would lug face masks for my husband, too, but I couldn't get hold of any since 2 months ago. I also stored up oil and snacks, you know, just in case.

I wouldn't say that I went into panic-buying because the goods bought could last us maximum 2 weeks. But I did bought a little bit more than usual.

**

A parent has come in contact with a confirmed Covid-19 patient. The parent has responsibly took the initiative to inform the school immediately and quarantine at home with the whole family. The student in question was identified by MOH as the secondary contact. A memo was sent out to parents immediately by end of the day. 

However, it was somehow leaked to the press and the news broke in Chinapress the next day. Soon, parents kept calling the school to demand an explanation even though nothing was taken out of context from the memo. And out of desperation, some parents chose not to send the children to school until the family in question produce a medical report stating that they are free from the virus even though the school assured that they're been carrying out sanitizing job at least 2 to 3 times diligently on a daily basis since coming back from Chinese New Year. 

The family has come to an end of their 14 days quarantine and they're still in good spirits. 

** 

In the midst of this global pandemic, we need peace and assurance to carry on with life. However, even if I purchase all the groceries I could get, will I not be anxious and restless? If we keep our children away from schools, gatherings and all other crowded places, will we find peace in our hearts as we are confined at home?

And then I question myself - Why do I let chaos influence me? 

An inner voice shouted back at me that all these earthly materials are only temporary. However, eternal peace can be found in our Lord Jesus Christ.

Again and again, the bible reminded us that if we ask God, He promises us His peace.

1 Peter 5:7 - Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

Psalm 29:11 - The LORD gives his people strength. The LORD blesses them with peace.

Isaiah 26:3 - You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!

John 16:33 - I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world

May this be a reminder to myself and everyone who reads this that in this climate of uncertainty and fear, only in Him will we find eternal peace.

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Feminism

Charlotte enjoying herself on a fire truck when we visited a fire station 2 years ago.

I've never really associated myself as a feminist until I find myself starting to correct Charlotte every time she makes a sexist statement.

"My teacher said blue is for boy. Girls cannot like blue. Girls like pink and purple."
"No, Charlotte. I like blue. Sometimes, daddy wears pink, too."

"Only girls can cook. Boys cannot cook. My friend said one."
"Look at Masterchef! Gordan Ramsay is a man and he can cook really well."

"Why that gorgor has long hair? Boys cannot have long hair."
"Well, Aquaman has long hair."

"Boys like cars and motorbikes. I like cars but I'm not a boy. So I cannot like cars."
"I'm not a boy, too, but I looooovve cars."

"Teacher said boys cannot do things nicely. Only girls can."
"If you guide them, they can do it nicely, too."

"Emmett cannot play with my baby (a soft toy) because he is not a girl."
"Well, I think it's ok. I mean, daddy takes care of you and Emmett when mummy is not around, doesn't he?"

The more I address to statements like these, the more furious I become. It dawned on me how much people consciously or subconsciously genderlize everything! From colours to toys, outfit, hairstyle, the book they read, the things they do and the food they eat!

And then I realized, I am a feminist myself. I find myself constantly fighting for equal rights, especially when I know that I am capable of doing so much more than what other defines that I cannot.

I remember comforting Charlotte and tell her that it's ok if she doesn't like ballet. Hiking sounds fun. It's ok if she doens't like to wear dresses in pink. I, too, prefer wearing long pants cause it gives me more mobility freedom.

I hope I could talk to the school one day on these comments that was picked up in school. However, I understand that parents play a bigger role. So I pledge to raise my children differently so that they believe they have the opportunity to succeed in school, college and career, regardless of how they look, where they start or where they live.

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Before I knew it

It just dawned on me that I'm already in another stage of parenthood.

My kids are now sleeping through the night.

I can do my cooking in the kitchen while watching Netflix, knowing that the both of them will be occupied in the living room with each other or with their own toys.

My daughter now comes to me to ask about Math instead of how to open her water bottle.

My son is so expressive now that he sings his answer when being questioned.
Me: Emmett! Where is your water bottle?
Emmett: I don't know no no no no no no (in "Baby Shark" tune)

They can both eat their own dinner without much supervision/ feeding.

They come to me and ask to refill their water bottle when it's empty.

They can both now help to do simple chores like folding the laundry or keeping their toys. Just yesterday, Charlotte helped in changing the bed sheets by taking out and putting on a new pillow case. Emmett tried by asking the sister to help.

I can now stand at the bathroom door while waiting for them to take off their own uniforms to take a shower.

I can now stare into the abyss and wonder who's that staring back at me.

Before I knew it, I'm getting back my freedom, bit by bit.
Before I knew it, they'll be running their own world. Without me.

It's strange but I have to admit, I'm missing their littleness and their helplessness. I thought I wouldn't. At the same time, I'm thankful for the new found... freedom? Oh, and that 7 to 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Ah, the conflict of my little heart!

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我最最最最欣赏的本地作家- Echo 许慧珊

小时候年轻时的某一天，在书局闲逛的时候，机缘巧合下翻开一本名为《单身俱乐部》的书。才刚上中学，毛还没长齐的我，翻着翻着就爱不释手了，索性买了回家慢慢啃。

结果就这样中毒了。这作者之后出版的《无聊才结婚》、《快乐小女人》、《爱情贩卖机》，我都统统买了。

我喜欢她幽默的写作手法。喜欢看她写的阿乐阿敬阿明阿海阿德。喜欢看写实的真人故事。遇到好笑的东西会笑到肚痛飙泪，然后再回读两三遍。

当她出版《告别单身》时，老实说，还蛮震惊的，因为毫无心理准备。这个高喊单身快乐的女人要结婚了！那我以后的日子要怎么办啊？我还没出社会工作嘢！

后来，《最美好的时光》、《左雍右为》、《女人与小孩》我都没有错过，并偷偷地以它们为鉴，成为我以后的育儿蓝本。虽然后来因为经济考量而无法为孩子们的前三年成为全职妈妈而难过了一阵子。后来的后来，有幸在面子书上加为好友，让我内心翻腾欣喜若狂了好一阵子。到最后的《街头eC9俏小孩》及《从C9到暴民》，总是能找到许多共鸣之处。

上个星期，我单身匹马南下上林文才老师的《原生家庭》课。报名的原因也是因为她大力推荐，并常在面书提到这课程能怎样帮助个人了解自己。果然，非常值得的一堂课。很庆幸很庆幸自己报名了。

我想，老天想好好奖励我，所以让我遇见了我小时候的偶像最最最最欣赏的本地作家 - Echo 许慧珊。

啊，我还记得那时在课室了一个转身不小心看到她时那小鹿乱撞的感觉，在心里练习该怎样打招呼。后来趁空挡时，鼓起了勇气上前自我介绍。启程回吉隆坡前，还一起自拍了。

看来，我的2020毫无遗憾了😆。

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Leap day 2020

I've never really have any special feeling about leap day until this year.

This leap day, I spent it taking a counselling course in Johor Bahru. I spent 9 fruitful hours there and got really pleased with what I did for myself. And then, I spent 3 hours plus on the road in the dark trying to reach home safe and sound. And thank God, I did! Boy, driving in the dark is really something else. It was intense because I have astigmatism. It was really really taxing and stressful on the road. I had to blast songs from my YouTube list 5 volume higher so that I can sing along to keep myself awake and aware. I enjoyed my journey down South the day before more, when the sky was still bright.

 Also, this leap day, Malaysia government changed again. When the news broke, my heart sank and I could feel anger inside me. Helpless at the same time because not sure what the future holds. 

2 more minutes till application for Primary School is open. Wish me luck!

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5 Things I Learned After Getting Eyelash Extensions

I've never been fully aware of my own eyelashes. I mean, I would apply mascara when I need to dress up for a function but it didn't really bother me if I didn't.

Last year, since there were a few plans going on, I decided to try eyelash extension to look good and feel good. Here's what I think about eyelash extension.

1. The results can be drastic

I remember after getting my first eyelash extension, I got wow-ed every time I met someone. Even my daughter would ask," What happened to your eyes, mummy?". It took me some time to get used to my full and fluttery eyes, too.

2. They can be uncomfortable 

I asked for 12mm lashes the first time because I was ambitious. And not knowing what to expect, I thought that pinchy-pokey pain after it was done was "normal". If only the artist took the time to ask me about it, I think I might be able to feel other wise. After the first 2 weeks, I just can't wait for all of the lashes to fall off. The second time, 5 months after the first experience, I asked for 9mm lashes. And the result was very different. My lashes didn't feel heavy and pokey. It was very comfortable. I guess if you're doing it for the first time, try with the shortest one first and then slowly add into length and volume later. And also remember that, you shouldn't be feeling uncomfortable. If you do, tell your eyelash extension artist so that she can make adjustments.

3. They can interfere with your beauty routine

I was not able to cleanse or rinse my eye area as the extensions weren't meant to get wet.

4. They can wreck your natural lashes

As the lashes falls off on their own, they usually fall together with your real lashes. The last eyelash extension I had almost wreck all my lashes. The artist recommended the Y shape eyelashes as she said it's easier to maintain. The tip of the eyelashes crosses each other. And for some reason, when it falls, a whole patch falls off together.

This resulted in a bald patch and it bothers me s lot!

After 2 days, I couldn't take it anymore and used coconut oil to remove the rest.

5. It’s an addictive (and expensive) beauty treatment and it messes with your self-image. 

Now that my eyes look "bald", I'm a little horrified devastated to see how much damage they had done. I keep having the urge to give the eyelash extension artist a call for another treatment but I also know that I don't have many lashes left to attach the extensions to.

I'm now on the road to growing my lashes back, but it's amazing to finally be able to rub my eyes again.

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Cousins

Growing up, I find companionship in my cousins. I have 10 cousins altogether. And they said, cousins are your first best friends. Of course I was not close to all of them. Mainly the 2 who were close in age.

But life, as we know it, doesn't always keep one's path align with another forever. How sad.

This year, I have this student who reminds me of my 2 cousins who decided to cut ties over money since my grandparents passed away. Sepet eyes with the surname Tan. Absolutely coincidentally look-alike for sure. But it somehow makes me wonder if they are alright. Is the one working in Hong Kong still safe and sound? Do they have their own family yet? Do they missed their dad? Do they, for a second, reminisce the past we once shared?

Occasionally, I also thought about her. How did she cope with her miscarriage? She should be fine, I guess? Being a counseling volunteer, she would know who to go to or how to handle the grieve, I think. Is she still the same ol' same ol' or a more selfless person now?

Don't worry about me. I've moved on. But I'm only human and my feelings are valid. And I can't help when something triggers my memory.

I wish them well. I wish them enough in life.

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3 Tips on How to Survive A Trip and Not Break A Friendship

Sereen and I talked about going on a trip many years ago when we were still childless. After having 2 kids of our own, with the elder one being 4 years old and could appreciate traveling more, we decided that it's about damn time.

We decided to a short trip to somewhere near, so Singapore it is. Not really a good idea after all cause Sereen said, and I quote, "So near but so expensive."

I know. It's Singapore ma.

I'm not gonna elaborate on the itinerary because we didn't have a solid one as we're travelling with kids. But if you really need to know, we went to The Gardens by The Bay, Singapore Zoo and Orchard Road.

What I'm going to write about is the things I learned about travelling with your bff and kids!

I guess without prior experience, we didn't really know what to expect. But through this first experience, here are the top 3 tips on how to survive the trip and not break the friendship.

1. Plan loosely

We didn't have a tight itinerary like where to eat or what to do and where to go. The whole trip was kinda children-centered. So we decided on The Gardens by The Bay, Singapore Zoo (with Jungle Breakfast with Wild Life in the morning) and Orchard Road to see the Christmas deco. We decided on what to eat there and then with Google being our tour guide. Besides rushing through The Gardens by The Bay on the first day because we only arrived at 7pm, we enjoyed our trip to the zoo the next day leisurely. Ok, we did rushed a lil in the morning so that we could get a nice spot to see the animals at the Ah Ming Cafe. Otherwise, we took our own sweet time to explore around. And at night, we went to Don Don Donki at Orchard Central (because yours truly is a fan of everything Japanese), had dinner there and walked along Orchard Road to see the Christmas decorations. Tiring at the end of the day but considered ok as we didn't have an ultimate goal to achieve so there was no pressure.

2. Separate all the spending

Besides hotel and flight, where one of us paid in advanced for everyone and then share equally later, we spent and paid for everything separately later. We didn't have a "tabung kongsi". When Sereen suggested this, I was honestly a little upset cause I was like, "Why? Are we going to do all things separately?"

Then I realized it's the best practice throughout this trip.

Ours and our kids' food preference are different. While Charlotte and I are quite open to try new things, Sereen made it clear that her son, Mason, is quite a China man and he needs his rice. So even if we decide to eat something else, she would need to dabao a dish with rice for Mason to eat, which I don't think it's a very good idea at all. So we dine in food courts where there's a variety of food to choose from without having to compromise anything.

On he last day before our flight back together, we spent the entire time almost separated, alone with our own kiddo. I felt it was necessary and much needed cause I hardly get to have 1-on-1 with Charlotte since Emmett arrived. Needless to say, we spent everything separately, too. So it was indeed a wise decision to not have a shared allowance.

3. Discipline your own kid

I must say, traveling with your kid and your friends’ kid is a test of friendship. When you travel, and your kids don’t know each other much and or never been into a playdate, it is hard to be in between with the two. They get jealous of each other and sometimes is so hard to handle! But one thing for sure is that Sereen and I both know the boundaries. She handles her kid, and I discipline mine. And when it comes to sharing, if one doesn't want to share his or her own things, we respect the kid's decision and the mother will handle her own jealous kid.


Truth to be told, traveling with kids is exhausting. Their nap time doesn't sync, sometimes we have to wait out a tantrum. It felt like I needed a vacation from our vacation. But at the end of the day, we built memories together. Few years later we could maybe laugh about it.

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THE COFFEE BEAN & TEA LEAF® ENCOURAGES THANKFULNESS & THE HEARTFELT JOY OF ‘GIFTING GRATEFUL’ THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

‘Tis the season for sharing and caring, and as family and friends gather to celebrate the season, it’s also a time to reflect and show appreciation for the many good things that have happened throughout the year, whether it’s by buying a meaningful gift for a precious loved one or bringing them to enjoy a good treat like the latest Holiday menu at The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf® Malaysia!

Fiona Rodrigues, Director of Marketing & Development, The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf® Malaysia. 

“It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season and sometimes we lose sight of what the holidays are really about, being grateful and sharing time with the ones we love. This year, at The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf® Malaysia, we would like to invite our guests to find time to slow down, step into our stores; relax with our holiday treats, bring home holiday cheer with our gift sets and begin a “Gifting Grateful” state of mind,” said Fiona Rodrigues, Director of Marketing & Development, The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf® Malaysia.

‘Gifting Grateful’ ideas can also include charitable efforts to help others beyond one’s circle of connections, from volunteering to fund-raising; for years now, CB&TL has sold Caring Cup Gift Tags (RM2 each, RM8 per set) to help support communities in need, in addition to annual projects in support of worthy causes.

Festive Treats for All 

To complete the festive mood, CB&TL presents a limited-edition Holiday menu featuring a mix of new delights and classic favourites. Coffee lovers can take their pick from the signature Ice Blended® beverages, in Salted Popcorn or Double Chocolate Peppermint (small RM16.50, regular RM18), also available as a hot or iced latte (small RM15.95, regular RM17.45). There’s even a special Holiday Blend (small RM8.60, regular RM9.65) or, for a more intense and refreshing drink, try the Peppermint Nitro Latte (RM15.95)!

For those who prefer a different kind of bean, the Pure Double Chocolate Peppermint and Pure Red Velvet are available as Ice Blended® (small RM16.50, regular RM18) or hot cocoa beverages (small RM15.95, regular RM17.45).

Comet’s Choc Cheesecake

To go with these delicious beverages, a selection of luscious Holiday items are available – choose from Comet’s Choc Cheesecake, a heavenly light and airy chocolate cheesecake decorated with sugared berries and fresh cream (RM13.95 per slice, RM139.90 for a whole 1.1kg cake); Rudolph’s Sleigh with cream decadent chocolate, cream puff and crunchy almonds (RM13.95 per slice); Dasher’s Snow Surprise in fruit cake, red velvet or brownie variants (RM148 for a whole 1.9kg cake); or Classic Winter Log (RM13.95 per slice, RM139.90 for a whole 1.3kg cake). 

Classic Winter Log

Other seasonal specialities include Prancer’s Passion, a mango and passion fruit cake (RM6.90 per slice, RM45 for a whole cake); 101 North Pole gingerbread spice cottage (RM125); Blitzen’s Stollen packed with sultanas, cinnamon and marzipan (RM6.90 per slice, RM45 for a whole loaf); Jolly Breadman (RM6.90 per piece); and Dancer’s Holiday Cookie, a triple chocolate treat (RM6.90 per piece).

Prancer’s Passion, a mango and passion fruit cake

North Pole gingerbread spice cottage

With so much to choose from, fans may find it more convenient to purchase the Gifting Grateful Sampler, the best way to share and show their gratitude to their loved ones with its selection of Classic Winter Logs, Jolly Breadmen, Strawberry Tarts and Comet's Choc Cheesecake, all in convenient bite-sizes, at only RM99 for a pack of 20 pieces!

Gifting Grateful Sampler

In addition, this selection of gifts keeps on giving: Holiday Blends in three distinctive roasts (RM39 per pack or RM118 as a Gift Set); Espresso Gift set (RM88); limited edition powders (RM40 per tin); and festively designed double insulated mugs (RM48) and tumblers (RM138).

Get a head start on ‘Gifting Grateful’ year with the early bird promotion, a 20% discount on Holiday whole cakes, Holiday party packs and selected traditional Holiday breads with TCB card or online orders until 10th December 2019, and enjoy 30% off selected CB&TL Single Serve Machines Bianca, Clio, Venus, Desto. Kaldi and Contata models until 26th December!

For more information about CB&TL’s Holiday menu, latest offerings, news and promotions, follow

CB&TL Facebook: www.facebook.com/CBTLMalaysiaPage
CB&TL Instagram: @coffeebeanMY,
CBTL website: www.coffeebean.com.my.


* * * About The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf® 
The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf® brand is a leading global roaster and retailer of specialty coffees and teas and is widely credited for driving high quality and innovation to the coffee and tea industry. The company sources the finest ingredients and flavors from around the world and hand blends coffee and tea for the freshest flavors. The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf® brand started the frozen coffee drink craze with the invention of The Original Ice Blended® drink and is also the first global coffee and tea retailer to offer cold brew tea. The company currently has more than 1,200 retail locations across the globe and can be found in grocery aisles as well as specialty locations including airports and hotels. For more information, visit www.coffeebean.com.my.  

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